Essays Assistance » humor

Enlist Study Of Fables From The Gombo Close Erik Quisling

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 09:46:20 +0000

Aesthetics books tend to be portly tomes of incomprehensible concepts, no doubt designed this through to limit readership to those already tangled in this ethereal endeavor at the abstract level. To a great extent occasionally a publication comes along that breaks out from the pattern, in 1971 R. D. Lang published his ground breaking feat Knots, a Order that could be bewitched on many extraordinary levels, and more importantly, enjoyed about a wide audience.

Although using a exceptional shape Erik Quisling has produced a similar work with Fables From The Mud. Using comparatively undecorated concepts we are introduced to some quite lenient conditions. Whereas Lang toughened the nursery rhyme Jack and Jill characters, Quisling uses a Clam, an Ant, and a garden Worm to inquire his theories. And as we realize to get a load of, these lowly creatures have the changeless wants and needs as humans. Time again our wants and needs are unemotional to explain, and through modeling those concepts into the life of creatures with a seemingly humble lifestyle, those concepts can be boiled down to ideas and needs that can be readily understood.

Each page is adorned sooner than a sincere shilling-mark plan, it took me a while to catch on. The starkness of the drawing indeed enhances the message.

Our gold medal run into is with an Exasperated Clam, he is irascible because of his incapacity to mutate the people, what can a mollusk do? We pore over as he moves with the aid a mixture of emotions, becoming increasingly disillusioned with his life. Possibly manic is a word that we can effectively use. As with all three of these entertaining stories, Erik Quisling has a twist in the tale.

Next up is the Ant, a undeniable worker, and an important member of society at the tradesman level, gloomy collar past and through. By means of taking a criminal fork in the street, he discovers the ‘stone garden’, a responsibility talked hither in ‘Ant Hill’ mythology, a deplane of wonder. But is it really?

Lastly is the Worm, this aging warrior has seen it all! He has achieved excessive things in his life, and we meet him reflecting on his whilom battles. The adrenalin highs, the polish of triumph, and the awareness of campaigns soundly conducted, to do not be up to save the aching meaninglessness he any more feels. Residing in the moment quite decomposed skull of Imprecise Furnish, the worm realizes that all the battles using nothing. The achievements of the past are no more than a superficial memory. He has one last purpose in his warrior person, but can he fulfill it?

Erik Quisling uses some bleeding, exceptionally dark humor in Fables From The Mud. It may be a quick deliver assign to, but it is a very contemplative assignment, and in unison that once you drain it, you will have a yen for to reflect on the stories. Minimalist it certainly is, but it is good-naturedly merit the bounty of admission. There is something repayment for person in this book.

Fables concerning the Mud is slated allowing for regarding an October unloosing and you can apply for a sample at the end of one’s tether with individual online booksellers.

Why

Essays — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 13:16:29 +0000

Many articles supply answers, but here I do not. Here, I ask the questions. If you want to rack your brains for finding the answers to these life conundrums. But, I warn you. Beware. These are not easy, and though somewhat hilarious and funny, they are real and true to life.

Should I begin? Ok, here I go:

1) How come Tarzan has no bears even though he grows up with wolves in the jungle?

2) Why does glue not stick to the insides of the tube or can that it comes in?

3) Why do they use sterile injections when executing someone who is condemned to death?

4) Why do we press down harder and harder or the remote controls even though we know that the batteries are low?

5) Why is it that when someone hits us in the ankles with his supermarket trolley and then appologizes, do we say that everything is ok? I mean, things are not really fine. Why is it that we do not say that it hurts?

6) Why is it that whatever the color of the bath soap, the bubbles are always white?

7) Why is it that you will never find a day when mattresses are not on sale?

Why is it that online casinos always offer big prize money for their tournaments but never reveal the real name of the winner after the competition is over?

9) If human beings evolved from monkeys, why is it that there still are monkeys?

10) Why did the Japanese Kamikaze pilots wear helmets during the second World War?

11) Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest but, then, duck when the empty gun is thrown at him.

12) Why do banks charge a commission when you go into debt even though they know that there is no money in that account?

13) Why do people go back again and again to the refrigerator hoping that something new to eat will appear there?

14) Why do people move their vacuum cleaner over a thin thread lying on the floor, bend down, pick it up, examine it, and then, place it on the floor again and move the vacuum over it again?

15) Why do people believe it when they are told that there are more than four billion stars, but when they see a sign that says wet paint, they have to touch and check?

16) Why does a plastic bag not open at the end where you first try to open it?

17) Why do you never hear jokes about father in laws?

18) Why are there dead insects inside enclosed electric lamps?

19) Why is it that in winter we try and keep the house as warm as it was during the summer when back in the summer we hated the heat?

20) Why is it that every time you try and catch something that is about to fall off the table, you always hit something else and drop that instead?

Conclusion:

Life has many oddities and conundrums: some funny, some less. I have mentioned but a few. Think of more? Send them to me.

Laughing at the Indian Cricket Team

Essays — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:58:19 +0000

Indian cricket is headed for a disastrous World Cup and only those who wish to bury their head in the sand can think that they will do well there. The pitches in West Indies are fast and the players (who anyway have a tough time on such pitches) will succumb easily. They will advance (I truly hope so) to the next round by beating the weak teams but they will lose once again to the strong ones and they will find ourselves out and forgotten very soon. So instead of feeling sad, the only thing left for the fans to do is to joke about them. So here goes!

The story goes that there was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy of 5-6 years old. Their relationship was turning sour. So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than to carry on such a relationship.

So they consulted a lawyer. But the big question was who would have the kid. In the hearing in the court it was decided that this choice should be left to their son. So the judge asked “Son, would you like to stay with your mummy?”

The kid replied,” No, mummy beats me.”

So the judge asked “Then, would you like to stay with your papa?”

The kid replied, “No, papa beats me too.”

Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not able to decide what to do. After pondering for some time he smiled with the ideas he had in his mind about the child.

And he gave the judgment that the kid would stay with

Any guesses?

Come on I know you can guess this.

Ok here is the decision: The judge decided that the kid would stay with the Indian Cricket Team because they never beat anybody.

And here are some one liners to pipe up your day:

Why do Indian babies cry and complain all the time?

They are practicing how to become Indian cricketers when they grow up.

What is an handcuffed Indian Cricketer called?

A cricketer you can trust.

What are the four words that will destroy any Indian batsman?

Did you bat today?

Why doesnt the crowd blink when Tendulkar goes out to bat?

There just is no time until he gets out again.

What is the difference between an Indian batsman and an Australian one?

100 runs.

What is the difference between batteries and Indian cricketers?

Batteries have a positive side.

How do you force Indian cricketers to run between wickets?

You place food on either end.

Yes, I know that some of these jokes are really putting the Indian team down but considering their recent form (excluding the recent two victories against West Indies which I think is more of a fluke than anything else), I felt that I could say such things.

I cannot understand how such players such as Ganguly, Tendulkar, Dravid and the rest can let the fans down time and again. Sometimes it seems that they are not really interested in playing and that they gamble away their wicket easily. If that is the case then they should leave and let other more able and willing youngsters take a shot. They will not fare much worse in any case. What will they do? Lose. They lose anyway and to any cricket playing nation in the world!

Laughter: Use It to Pick Up Women

Essays — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 02:03:44 +0000

Humour, some say, is the fruit of life, and this is especially true when it comes to picking up on a girl no matter where the location. Make them laugh, and I guarantee, that you are very close to getting their phone number and even to getting them to go out with you.

But, as we all know, making them laugh, is easier said than done. Precisely for those who find it difficult to come up with something funny to say, I am adding some funny anecdotes and wise cracks that you can memorize and then use in those situations where you need to get the girl in front of you to laugh.

1) The Prescription:

Did you hear of the lady, who walked into the pharmacist and asked for arsenic?

The man behind the counter asked in wonder, “What do you need that for?

The lady calmly replied,” to kill my husband.”

The pharmacist was taken aback,” Are you crazy? Do you want to get us both into jail? And, anyway, why do you want to kill him? Go to a counselor. Get help for your marriage.”

The lady paused and from her purse she removed a set of pictures of her husband and the wife of the pharmacist in some very creative postures.

The pharmacist looked at the snaps, put them down and smiled,” lady, why did you not tell me that you have a prescription?”

2) The Tip Book

A wife calls out to her husband, “Have you seen the book, 101 Tips to Live for More Than a Hundred Years?

The husband sheepishly replies, “I burnt it.”

“What?” the wife shouted out,” why?”

The husband whispered back,” Because your mother wanted to read it.”

3) Range of Food

Looking at his wife fry meat balls in all kinds of shapes and sizes, Tom tapped her on the shoulder, “Why?”

His wife turned,” Because you asked for a variety of food.”

4) Mushrooms

Tom was picking mushrooms from the forest floor with his wife, when she picked up one and showed it to Tom,” Is this for eating?”

Tom smiled,” Yes. As long as you do not cook it.”

5) Driving Around

Tom greeted his wife when she returned home,” So, my dear, how was your first time driving all alone?”

His wife smiled coyly, “Do you want to hear it from me or read about it in the papers?

6) Drama

A couple are watching a film in their local theater when the wife snuggles close to her husband and points to the screen,” Do you think that they will get married in the end?”

The husband sighs,” Yes. These movies always have bad endings.”

7) The Library

Tom visited the local library, walks up to the librarian and asks, “Do you know where I can find the book, the Supremacy of Men over Women?”

The librarian conducts a short search on the computer and looks up,” you will be able to find it in the science fiction.”

Conclusion:

While some of these might sound offensive, if you use them well you will be able to display not just a sense of humour, but also that you are exactly the opposite of the stereotype. How? Immediately, after you done, lean over and whisper, But I am not like that, and if you allow me to take you out, you will see that for yourself.

A Moving Experience

Essays — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 00:51:53 +0000

I’ve found a cool apartment! Okay, okay…so it’s not perfect. Just a few bugs. I mean literally! First expense? An exterminator! Is it worth the cash? Well, I can’t afford a more expensive place, so a one-time (please!) cash outlay should be okay. Maybe just a can of “Raid?”

I need a way to move my stuff. Daddy, can I borrow your truck? You don’t have one? Why not? Do you want one? I’ll help you pick it out! Well, it was just a suggestion. No need to get all bent out of shape! I guess I’d better call the truck rental places. What do you mean…$200…PLUS mileage? AND Gas? Good grief!

While I’m on the phone I’ll call the utility and phone companies. Yes, I know I haven’t used your services before. No, I don’t have a credit card; this is my first place. You want what? A $100 deposit? For EACH? Holy cow…do you people have a license to steal?

Daddy, I need $500 for moving expenses! I used all my money for the first and last months rent AND the damage deposit. Well, how was I to know this was going to be so expensive? Sell something? Daaaaad…I NEED my TV!

Boy, this place is pretty empty. Maybe I should buy a couch and a chair. Nah…I have my bed. That’ll be good enough. I don’t need a table; I’ll just use this box.

Renters Insurance? I don’t think so! What do I have to insure?

Just got my first phone call! I’d love to come to your party! Daddy, I need a car. Because it’s too far to walk to work, that’s why. Umm, Daddy…there’s car insurance too! Thanks, Dad…you’re the best! And gas? I didn’t think so…

Time for dinner. Let’s look in these boxes. Oh, No! No dishes or pans. No FOOD!

Uhhh, Mom?

Party Jokes: Startling But Unnecessary

Essays — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 16:58:50 +0000

Here, I focus on a range of items and features that we use in life without giving them a second thought such as Coca Cola, body muscles and holding ones own breath. Though, most of these notes are not fundamentally necessary, they are such that you can use them for a good laugh, at a drinks party or for picking up women or men.

1) Coca-Cola: Did you know that its original colour was green?

2) Mohammed: Did you know that this is the most used name in the entire world?

3) Geographical Letters: Did you know that the name of each of the continents begins and concludes with the exact same alphabet? Do not believe that? Look up Asia, Europe, Africa, America, Antarctica and the rest.

4) Muscle Strength: Did you know that the strongest muscle in the entire body is that one which we use to lick a popsicle? Your tongue.

5) Credit Cards: In the United States, were you aware that each and every person has at least two credit cards?

6) An Antique Machine: The word for an old machine that was once used for writing letters and other documents is the largest word that one can make if they click only on a single row of their computer’s keyboard: typewriter!

7) Blink: Men wink at women, but research has found out that the average woman blinks nearly two times more than the average man.

Suicide: Even though you might have wondered if it was possible, studies have discovered that it is impossible to kill oneself by simply holding in your breath.

9) Licking: However much you may try, you will never be able to lick your elbows.

10) Sneeze: Try sneezing. People will automatically answer you with a bless you greeting. Have you ever imagined why? Some say that this happens because a sneeze stops the functioning of the heart for a very tiny second.

11) The Blue Sky: Did you know that a pig, no matter how much they try, cannot look up into the sky?

12) Twisting Your Tongue: We have all dabbled with different tongue-twisters in our day. But do you know which is the toughest? Sixth sick sheiks sixth sheeps sick.

13) Ribs: Did you know that you should try not to sneeze too strongly. Why? A very powerful sneeze has the ability to cause a fracture in your ribcage. But, then again, if you try and withhold one, you stand the chance of breaking one of the many blood vessels in your neck or head. This could cause death.

14) Cards: Did you think that the Kings are all just random cards referring to random figures? No. Each one signifies a different king: Diamonds for Julius Caesar, Clubs for Alexander the Great, Spades for David and Hearts for Charlemagne.

15) And finally: Most everyone reading this (Caught You!) are trying to lick their elbows at this exact moment!

Conclusion: Most of these are not scientific facts, but they are hilarious, funny and can be used to lighten up the ambience when a conversation has gone dull. Use any and see your popularity rise up to great heights. Visit .gambling-portal.com for more jokes.

The Svelte Thai Women And The “Won Sigh” Foreigner

Essays — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:02:17 +0000

I came to realize early on in my stay in this beautiful country of Thailand, that Thai women were not only perfectly groomed and gracious, but they were absolutely “svelte.” I mean, how many more attributes do they get? I felt like Gulliver in the land of the Lilliputians.

As a newly-arrived expat in Thailand, I looked forward to seeing everything; from the Reclining Buddha to the gold-encrusted temples. But first, I told myself, I had some serious shopping to do. With the temperature at 100 degrees and the humidity fighting for top billing, I thought the best place to kill two birds with one metaphorical stone would be at an air conditioned shopping mall. Shopping has always had a way of lifting my over-sized spirits. I’d hoped to find a cutesy little sundress that could transform my 38DD bust line and my 30 inch waist into something that looked “svelte.”

But this wasn’t just for me, this shopping business. No, no. I made it a prerequisite to always help the local economy. I was directed by our hotel’s concierge to try Robinson’s Department Store in downtown Bangkok. “Very nice clothes foh you, MaDam.”

Wow, Robinsons? Right here in downtown Bangkok? It took me thirty minutes on a hot tuk-tuk ride in the piercing heat, but I made it, unscathed and ready to spend, spend, spend. As I sauntered into what I thought was the Women’s Department, I stopped short. Oh, no, these must be the teen’s clothes. They’re much too small for an adult. I scanned the racks. Who wears a size 2? Where am I, in the Barbi and Ken Department? I couldn’t get these styles around my thigh, much less my back-side.

I could see someone walking towards me, but she looked like a teenager. Surely she’s not the salesgirl? She stopped in front of me. “Gootmoanin.”

“Oh.” I felt my face get hot. She looked like a sprite. She wasn’t a little girl after all; she was at least in her 20s and obviously the salesgirl in this department. “Uh, I, ah, was… Is there a Woman’s department in this store?”

“Yeth.” She smiled and waited expectantly.

“Oh. Well, I, ah, could you point me to it?”

“Mai kow jai ka.”

I yanked my Thai-to-English conversation book from my pocket and handed it to her. She pointed to a Thai phrase and handed the book back to me.

“Oh! You don’t understand?”

She smiled.

“Okay. Sure. Sorry.” I pointed to my well-fed body, while she watched expectantly. I then yanked on the waistline of my dress and said, “Clothes. For me.”

“Yeth,” she smiled demurely while looking at her feet, “preze foroow me.”

She led me to a small alcove, where some well-fed tourists were grazing about. Sidling up to a rather rotund shopper, I asked if she knew why we were led to this separate area. “Is it because we’re foreigners?”

She puckered up her mouth as if sucking on a sour gumball: “Yeah, honey, it’s cuz we’re foreigner’s all right, larger-than-life foreigners!” She threw back her head and guffawed at her cleverness.

“Huh?”

“The only sizes you’ll find out there,” she cocked her head towards the tiny clothes I’d just left, “are size twos to fours, and honey, that ain’t us.” She had herself another good laugh.

I snuck a peek around the room while she chortled, and realized that every body standing in this room was years past those proportions.

I knew I wasn’t going to like these svelte, tidy little women. They must be bulimic &ndash that’s it. Binge, purge, binge, purge – they’re not fooling me. Dream on, lady.

As I toured and shopped the city in the following weeks, I came to realize that the Thais were also neat and tidy in other aspects of their lives. Every department store I visited in Bangkok was unbelievably pristine. Shirts and pants, towels, linens and sportswear were not only folded and stacked, but actually looked as though folded by automation. All the garments concealed cardboard inserts to give them shape. No pins showing, no uneven edges, just as if it were a picture on display. The dresses, blouses and shirts were neatly hung on hangers according to sizes and colors. Amazing, considering the litter I’d witnessed outside on the streets of Bangkok, where every little nook and crevice harbored some sort of debris.

For us, ahem, larger sizes, I found that anything imported was deplorably high. An imported name-brand in Thailand could be four times higher than one might pay in the States. Paradoxically, Thai clothes are very inexpensive and quite stylish &ndash if you’re less than five feet tall and weigh between seventy and ninety pounds.

I made a decision then and there: Before I left this country I would diet, fast, quit eating, quit breathing; whatever it took to look as svelte as these Thai women.

Another eye-opener I found was that every place I shopped, there were at least three salespeople hovering over me, smiling, waiing &ndash a Thai greeting. So helpful! I’ll be very cranky when I return to the States and don’t get the same service.

But &ndash back to reality. After living in Thailand for a few months, I learned the secret of the segregated clothing. The salespeople have the perfect solution for us larger sizes. It’s called “Won Sigh” &ndash meaning HUGE. You enter the clothing department, and unless you’re built like Twiggy, the sweet, smiling, ever-helpful salesgirls &ndash who all look pre-pubescent &ndashsteer you toward the “Won Sigh” department. This is where you’ll find all the loose-fitting, baggy, beachy, gauzy, hippie-looking outfits, and all claiming to fit ONE SIZE; from size 8 all the way up to Mama Cass. This is their way of saving face – yours. They would never dream to insinuate you were large, fat, obese, or chubby. You just happen to fall into the category of Won Sigh.

As I departed Robinsons in my new muumuu, nearly tripping over the hemline, I got a glimpse of my reflection in the display window. YIKES! Picture Hilo Hattie in strappy sandals.

(Excerpted from A Broad Abroad in Thailand by Dodie Cross, with permission).

Passover: Laugh While Cleaning

Essays — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 21:37:58 +0000

Passover, or Pesach as it is called in Hebrew, is the 8 day festival where the Jews celebrate their liberation from Egypt more than a thousand years ago. One of the most important features of this freedom festival is that the Jews cannot eat anything that is leavened. They eat unleavened bread.

They must also make sure that no bread crumbs exist in or around the house: the cupboards, the drawers, the kitchen, behind the bed, under the refrigerator and anywhere else where crumbs might have fallen through. To ensure that the house is clean of leavened food materials, the Jews have to clean the entire house from top to bottom as thoroughly as possible. And they do. During the week before Passover, house cleaning is what goes on in most Jewish houses. To answer this demand and to ease the tension, here is a joke on this subject called Impossible Timing, which highlights this cleaning tension.

Impossible Timing:

Samuel, an observant Jew, who was also a financial wizard, left Brooklyn to accept the position of Vice President in a famous broker firm in Utah, which is well known for being a Mormon state.

When they learned this, the company’s directorate applied tremendous pressure on the company’s president. “We are religious people here,” they said. “It can’t be that a Jew will handle all our money.”

The president tried to ward them off, but when he couldn’t manage it anymore, he called Samuel to his office and explained the situation to him. Samuel was offered the choice of either converting or leaving the attractive job which also had a six figure salary quote attached to it.

Samuel had no choice but to convert, and he went home and told his wife that from Sunday, they will start attending the Church services.

A few months went by and his wife kept troubling Samuel about the conversion. “This is too difficult for me. I miss the Sabbath: lighting candles and blessing the wine. I miss the holidays. Money is not everything, Samuel dear.”

And with each time that his wife complained, Samuel’s conscience increased until he could not take it anymore and he went to meet the company’s President.

“Look, I can’t go on like this,” Samuel said. “I am full of regret. Money is not everything. I can’t sleep and neither can my wife. This is too heavy a burden for me to carry. I was born a Jew and I want to die a Jew. And if you want me to quit, I will without making any trouble.”

The President looked at him in wonder, “Listen, Samuel, I had no idea that this was so difficult for you. I thought it was a trivial matter. But you don’t have to leave. Everything will be the same as before: you can stay here with us without converting.

Samuel returned home happy and grinning from ear to ear. He ran to his wife, who was watching Ricky Lake, “You won’t believe it! It’s a miracle. We are going back to being Jews, and I still retain my job.”

His wife looked at him with eyes that spat fire, and said,” Are you mad?”

Samuel was shocked. “But I thought that this is what you wanted!” He cut in. “All this while you have been crying and complaining. Don’t you wish to go back to becoming a Jew”"

His wife looked at him with ever more fury, “Of course I want to. Of course I want to,” she said. “But now? Only a week before Passover?”

Save The Planet, Hug A Clam

Essays — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 16:31:33 +0000

It has become obvious to all but the most unrelentingly stubborn apologists for the oil industry that we now stand at a pivotal moment in the history of our planet. As much fun as it would be to make fun of Al Gore’s pretentious drawl and expanding bald spot, none of us can afford to ignore his clarion call for global change. With humankind’s carbon footprint leaving a catastrophic impact upon Mother Earth, it is the sacred responsibility of every citizen to make a change for the better. We can all agree on that much, but the next question is a lot thornier: How exactly do you start?

As in so many vital areas of life, when confronted by a monumental task it is beneficial to start with something small. In other words, begin by taking a “micro” view of your “macro” problem. Numerous studies have indicated that the more we are taught to respect and even love the tiniest creatures, the deeper connection we will feel to the planet at large. So if you’re looking to address climate change in your own way, you might want to start by picking up a copy of Fables From the Mud by Erik Quisling. This book, simple in structure yet profound in implication, illuminates the plight of Earth’s smallest inhabitants in a style that will make you laugh even as your empathy expands.

The first thing you are apt to notice about Fables is the fluid interchange between illustrations and text. This book has been designed with such a graceful simplicity that you could easily read it cover to cover in a single sitting. Indeed, once you’ve gotten a sense of its sharp humor and cerebral charms, you may be tempted to consume the whole thing while in the middle of a crowded book store.

Try to avoid this temptation, as you will find Fables to be a veritable banquet of philosophical speculation and belly laughs. How in God’s name, you may be wondering, can one book offer such seemingly incongruous rewards? The answer to that question is the secret of Quisling’s triumph. He has crafted three distinct but thematically connected tales,focusing on some of the Earth’s least respected inhabitants: a clam, an ant, and an earthworm. Against all expectation, Quisling turns these lowly invertebrates into heroes of truly epic scale.

By infusing so much ambiguous life and recognizably human foibles into its three-pack of protagonists, Fables allows readers to understand these creatures as reflections of ourselves. Laughable as the clam’s frustration with the emptiness of his existence might seem, is our own periodic despair any less ridiculous? It all comes down to a matter of perspective, which seems to be one of Quisling’s primary lessons.

After reading this timeless book, you may find yourself thinking twice before stepping on the next ant you see crossing the sidewalk. He’s a guest on this ailing planet, just like you. And for all you know, he might be in the middle of an heroic struggle worthy of mention in a book Fables From the Mud.

Small Wonders: The Power Of Independent Publishers And Invertebrate Creatures

Essays — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:13:43 +0000

Over the course of the past decade, authors and readers alike have been heard to utter a collective groan of dismay as the once elite publishing industry continues to resemble the multiplex tripe factory of Hollywood, churning out one cookie cutter product after another.

This situation would be funny (considering the supreme cultural snobbery most New York-based editors feel for their moviemaking brethren on the opposite coast) were it not for the fact that each new conglomeration in publishing has a chilling effect on both the quantity and quality of new books released.

This law of diminishing returns is frightful in its implications. With every major publisher looking to balance out its annual loss leaders with one big Potter-esque mega-hit, it’s inevitable that midlist authors are all but ignored. What chance do aspiring voices have in this environment, particularly those who seek to produce works of bold innovation?

Though the situation looks bleak, there is one very bright silver lining. The recent emergence of independent publishers has brought to light many excellent books that would have otherwise languished in obscurity. A prime example of this happy trend is Borderlands Press. Since 19989, publisher (and prolific award-winning author in his own right) Thomas F. Monteleone has been putting out deluxe limited edition releases of works by some of the biggest names in genre and horror fiction. Starting in 2007, Monteleone decided it was time to broaden his horizons with a new line of trade paperback originals.

Having already released Virgin by esteemed horror scribe F. Paul Wilson earlier in the year, Borderlands is now offering a wildly original collection of three new stories in one volume. Fables From the Mud by Erik Quisling is already being hailed as an instant cult classic that will rank along with “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” and the collected works of Shel Silverstein.

Applying robust humor and a decidedly philosophical approach to some of life’s greatest mysteries, Quisling introduces us to three extraordinary invertebrate heroes: the Angry Clam, Glen the Ant, and Julius Gunther Weems the Warrior Worm. Page by page, Fables From the Mud dazzles readers with the gripping stories of these three small wonders. Though at first glance it may appear to have the simplicity of a children’s book, be forewarned this is one tome that packs a king-sized wallop.

Hilarious and thought-provoking by turns, Fables is sure to challenge even the heartiest of readers. It is a book to cherish long after you’ve finished it for the first (of many) times.

Meanwhile, Thomas Monteleone continues to push ahead with his ambitious trade paperback line. In late October, Borderlands Press releases his own novel, Serpentine, and January of 2008 will see the release of Crimson Orgy, the much-anticipated debut novel by Austin Williams. As long as Monteleone and other trailblazing publishers of his ilk keep promoting quality fiction from talented new voices, book lovers across America can feel confident there will always be something interesting to read outside the narrow parameters of what the elite publishing industry deems “commercial.”

Essays Assistance » humor

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