Unlike other professions, authors operate under a whole different set of rules. We often can’t just sit down and pound out a story, and those who do have created their own formula for doing so. We see this huge story with all sorts of directions we want to take it, we see the cover, we see the characters, we see the market potential. Then we see Katie Couric or Oprah smiling and holding up our book for the whole world to see. Then we glance back down at our monitor and see a tormenting blinking cursor and blank screen. And we are again reminded of what a failure we are. We have all these stories and nothing on paper. We are idea generators. We have zillions of them running through our minds, but none of them on paper. Unless you make your money in a think tank, operating this way probably isn’t getting you any closer to your goals.

When a project looms before us, it’s like this big elephant — huge, overwhelming and ready to stomp us flat any minute. There’s an old saying: “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” The same is true for writing. You finish a book, one step at a time. But to create these steps, you first have to break down your book into manageable, bite-size pieces. This can be accomplished by creating a TOC (table of contents) that can guide you through the book. My reasoning behind this is as follows: You’d never think of driving from California to New York without a map, right? Well, how can you expect to finish your book without one? Your TOC is your roadmap, guiding you through your book. If your chapters don’t have individual headings, then write a 2-3 sentence description of what the chapter encompasses. Don’t get too elaborate on this. Remember, it’s not going in your book; it’s just a brief descriptor. Once the TOC is outlined, you’ll have a vision of your book from start to finish.

A few things that creating this TOC will do for you: It will show you any gaps in your story that might need to be fleshed out, and it will give you a sense of completion, of seeing the book or project actually done, and this is a serious psychological turn-on for most authors, because we often live in a world of half-completed projects. Sometimes this step alone can propel an author enough to get their book done, or at the very least give it a darned good kick-start.

Once you’ve developed your TOC, you’ll want to go through it and create a “to do” list. Regardless of what genre your book is, you will always have a to-do list. Whether it’s getting endorsements, doing research, or getting approvals for quotes or excerpts for your book, this to-do list will become yet another item that will help propel your book toward completion.

Once the to-do list is done, set it aside. Now you should have your completed TOC with a vision of the entire book and a growing list of items that will need to be handled for the book to get done. Now the real fun begins.

Some books on writing will tell you to set aside a day or two a week, or an evening here and there to get your book completed. I disagree with this theory, and here’s why: You need to stay dialed into your topic. When I was working on an upcoming book, I would often put the project aside for days or weeks at a time, promising myself to schedule time “as soon as I could.” Well, that rarely happened. What I found is that if I set aside some time every day to do something on the book, I got it completed a lot quicker.

The more you keep your hands in your project, the more it will stay at the front of your mind and on your radar screen, and the more energy you will invest to finish it. I won’t tell you to set aside hours of your time each day — in fact, you don’t even have to set aside an hour. Take 15 minutes, or even five — whatever your schedule permits. If this seems like a ridiculously short amount of time, consider this: You now have your to-do list and your outlined TOC! . If you are short on time one day, pick a quickie item from your to-do list and get it done. If you have more time, then pound out a chapter or two. The idea behind creating the to-do lists and a TOC is to not only give your project a structure, but to also eliminate any and all excuses for getting it done. Don’t feel like writing today? No problem. There’s probably a mountain of research just waiting to be traversed. Get the picture?

But let’s say you can’t even get through the TOC. “My book has too many layers,” you lament. “Too many back stories, tons of stuff going on. I can’t possibly be expected to filter it down into a neat little TOC.” Yes, you can, and you must. If your book has no focus, your book will have no focus. It’s as simple as that. But it doesn’t stop there — if your book is all over the place and you do actually manage to get it done, you’ll never be able to keep a reader interested because you will be the only one who will get it, and what’s the point of that? What you’ll need to do in this case is find the “core” of your book or the focus of your story. Ask yourself this: What’s the one thing this book cannot do without? What’s the one thing this story circles around? That’s your core. If you’re still coming up with three or four things that your story circles around, you aren’t focused enough and neither is your book. Find that one thing and build your story or book around it.

If you follow these steps, your book will get finished quicker than you could have ever imagined. And the once-dreaded writer’s block will go from a stumbling block to a building block.

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While publishing is all about creative expression, it’s also about business and it’s those business savvy authors who will succeed in the end. Now you don’t have to be an MBA to be a keen business person, you simply have to understand that the choices you make relative to your books future should be based on strategies that will enhance sales not just drain your pocketbook. So, how do you do this? First, take a long, hard look at your reader.

At Author Marketing Experts, we always create a reader profile for each book we promote. This reader profile will tell us where to find buyers for the books we represent. Taking this first step helps us sort through our choices when it comes to book promotion and make decisions on behalf of our authors that are sound and will help leverage sales.

There are times when it’s a waste of resources to do a nationwide radio or TV promotion. In fact, some of our programs don’t include any outreach to broadcast media. Why? Because as alluring as it might seem to appear on the Today Show, what’s the point if your audience doesn’t watch morning TV? And, if your audience isn’t watching this show, the chances are slim they’ll even consider you anyway. What? More rejection? Who needs it!

As you embark on or continue your campaign, ask yourself a few tough questions. First, what’s your ultimate goal for this book? If it’s just to give away at family reunions, that’s great! But then you’ll probably want to nix any marketing. If your book is an arm of your business and you have speaking engagements lined up through the end of the year. You probably don’t need to spend a lot on marketing since most of your sales will come from your speaking engagements (i.e. back of the room sales). On the other hand, if you wrote this book to grow your business or to leverage your credibility then you will probably want to dial yourself into your industry through enhanced media exposure.

For fiction authors this area becomes a little tricky. First, you need to determine your long term goals. By long term we mean: do you want to stay in this business or was this book just “something you wanted to do.” If it’s a hobby, then treat it as such but if this is going to be your career, then you need to keep your message out there on a continual basis, through venues such as author events, talks, signings, print and broadcast media.

Make sure the choices you make, make sense for your book and aren’t just made because you’ve always dreamt of being on Oprah. I’ve known authors lured into inappropriate marketing plans by big, flashy names and promises of stardom, wasting thousands of valuable marketing dollars and heading in a direction that wasn’t right for them. If you’re serious about your work, ready to let go of your muse and face the task at hand with some business savvy, then you’re really ready to get published. Below are some guidelines that will help further your success!

1) Reader profile: create one of these at the beginning of your marketing campaign and keep refining it as you move through the process. Refine and redefine who and where your audience is and how to get to them.

2) Time commitment: determine what you can and can’t reasonably do. If you have a full time job it probably doesn’t make a lot of sense to commit yourself to forty hours of marketing a week unless your boss is on vacation.

3) Investment: how much are you willing to invest in your future? Are you willing to invest money without seeing much in return knowing that you are building a foundation or do you want to see immediate monetary results? Most authors don’t see a return on their investment for a year or more. Are you committed enough to yourself or your project to keep this investment going?

4) Reality check: what’s realistic for the industry you’re in? Are you latching onto a fad or something with more longevity? Are you getting into a brand new market that will require lots of reader education? Or are you trying to go mainstream with a non-mainstream topic? While this is an admirable goal, it can be like swimming upstream.

5) Budget: while we encourage authors to invest in their future, we’ve also seen a number of people go into heavy debt, quit their jobs and even sell their homes just to promote their book. While that kind of dedication is certainly admirable, remember that although you have the potential to make a great deal of money it’s not going to be overnight. The lure here is of course that “If I stick with it, this next sale will make me famous.” Well, maybe or maybe not. If you’ve been plugging away for a while without any significant success get a professional to give you some honest, constructive feedback about your plan, your market, and your book. It might be that a poorly designed cover is the reason you’re not making sales, or a topic that’s fallen off of the public’s radar screen. In the meantime as you’re waiting to hit the big time you’ll still need a place to sleep and Uncle Vinnie’s couch will get old real quick.

6) Burnout: we hear this term often, even to the point of being overused. What we’re really talking about here is author burnout. We’ve found that the average author only markets their book for ninety days. That means ninety days of day and night marketing, radio interviews at 3am and a book signing every weekend. On day ninety-one they are so tired, so discouraged and so broke they quit. You can avoid this by giving yourself realistic goals and a realistic timeframe in which to complete them. There’s nothing in the world like seeing your book in print. If approached realistically, objectively and with sound business sense, it can be one of the most exciting times in your life.

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The answer to the first question was easy – pure Turkish Hashish – just kidding. (Actually, I awoke in the middle of the night with the idea of a ticked off clam running through my head, then feverishly spent the wee hours putting a frantic pencil to paper.) The answer to the second question takes a little bit more explaining but I believe it contains one of the essential keys (and secrets) to getting published.

The story of how I got The Angry Clam published is a brief one so I will share it with you now:

After I awoke from my long morning nap after having spent the previous night beginning and completing my first ever attempt at literature, I reviewed what I wrote, kind of liked it, and then decided to show it to a few friends. To my amazement, they all thought it was hysterically funny – but in a good way. (They were actually laughing WITH the book not at it!)

Inspired by this, I purchased the supplies necessary to create a more presentable copy of the book – like giving it a cover and hand-writing and drawing each page in pen – and then went to my local Kinko’s to get 50 copies printed up. The following day, with my 50 copies in hand, I decided to go to the owner of a neighborhood bookstore to see if he would be interested in selling The Angry Clam on consignment. To my delight, he looked at the book, laughed, and then said sure, why not, he would take 5 copies. (I believe he was half taking pity on me.)

Unbelievably, within 24 hours, I received a call from the owner asking me for 10 more copies. He then explained how the staff of the bookstore had bought the books and they were now passing them around for everyone to read. I brought over the 10 copies and they were immediately placed in the “Staff Favorite” section near the front register. Incredibly, I began receiving weekly orders for the books.

Encouraged by this, I then went to the owner of another neighborhood bookstore, described the tale of what was happening down the street, and he too agreed to take a few copies. Astonishingly, a very similar phenomenon happened. So this was great – I now had 2 local bookstores consistently selling and promoting The Angry Clam. It was at this point that I stumbled upon the very simple idea that would eventually get big New York literary agents and then several major publishing houses to pay The Angry Clam notice.

Placing a call to the owners of the 2 bookstores, I very politely asked them if they would each write a brief letter describing the “phenomenon” of the The Angry Clam at their store. Thankfully, they both agreed and within a day I had my two letters.

Armed with these testaments of The Angry Clam’s selling prowess, I was ready to see just how far my little book could go. So I purchased a copy of the Writer’s Guide to Literary Agents, picked about a dozen agents, and then mailed out a copy of the book and the 2 letters to each one of them.

What happened next has made me a legend in my own mind. Within 2 weeks I received calls from 5 of the agents – each wanting to represent The Angry Clam. After carefully selecting one of them, it took less than a month to get my first of several publishing offers.

What happened after the book was bought by Warner Books is a tale for another day. (The Angry Clam eventually hit the shelves of bookstores all over the United States and even rose into the Hot 100 on Amazon.

But the moral of The Angry Clam story is this – in the publishing world, a book’s perceived ability to sell is king. Prove to the publishing companies that your books can sell on a small scale and they just might take a chance that your books will sell on a large scale. What have they got to lose? Unknown authors rarely get more than a tiny advance and the cost to print up the first 2,000 books is nothing to a large company.

After all, Publishing is just a business.

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Discouragement is a constant companion. You face rejections. You spend time, money and energy with no guarantee of financial gain (and if you’re published, you face rejections; spend time, money and energy with no guarantee of financial gain). You endure looks of healthy disdain from people when you reveal you’re a writer. If you’re a literary writer, you’re regarded with some awe; a genre author; however, is looked upon with the same reverence as a stripper.

At times like these, quitting seems like a sensible thing to do. I would encourage it, if you are constantly depressed and on the verge of madness. It isn’t worth your sanity and publishing isn’t an industry that is concerned with keeping you sane. Drinking may no longer be common among writers, but it certainly is a temptation.

If rejections make you want to bang your head against the wall, writing is painful and the thought of another damn story swimming in your head makes you nauseous – Stop. Now. If you can’t stop, there’s help. Here are five reasons to stay a writer:

You don’t have to submit your work. There’s no obligation for a writer to share their work with editors and critics (Emily Dickinson is a fine example) you can write for the pleasure of it. If you do wish to publicize your work, you can self-publish. However, you don’t need to be published to be a writer (I know I keep saying this, but I will continue to do so until I am believed). Validation is great, creation divine. Create, explore, indulge! Be free. Write.

For immortality. When you die, there is a distinct possibility that your unpublished works will be discovered, you’ll be proclaimed a genius, your books will be translated into many languages both live and dead, turned into a film every few decades and inspire legions of writers who are obscure and writing anyway. If you don’t write, there will be nothing to discover.

Revenge. Remember that teacher who bloodied your beloved essays with red marks? That scathing critique partner with ‘helpful advice?’ That insolent editor who didn’t even bother to send a form rejection, but scribbled ‘No thanks’ on your query? Well, write to show the bastards! Strong emotions are a great motivation to write. Write to prove them wrong.

We need stories. Naturally, literary snobs would beg to differ, thinking literature is being polluted by uneducated neophytes who have the audacity to write because they have the ability to type their names.

Fortunately, I find their opinions as necessary as Athletes’ foot. Therefore, I implore you to tell your tales in your voice. No copycats please. It doesn’t matter if your prose doesn’t ring like Jane Austen, echo like J. California Cooper, bellow like Mark Twain, sing like JK Rowling’s or linger like Anne Lamott’s. We need stories to survive. Help us.

You get to determine your success. Writing can afford you big and little successes. The poem that brought a smile to your friend’s face, the essay that saved the front page of the neighborhood newsletter, the short story that helped a lonely teenager through a hard time, the novel that opened someone’s mind to a new way of thinking.

Okay, so you may never hit the bestseller’s list, win a National Book Award or any award for that matter. Perhaps only the sky will know your gifts. You’re living a dream few people allow themselves to experience. They talk about writing–some very loudly–but few do it. The world bends to those who proclaim who they are without apology (okay it doesn’t actually bend, but it does bow a little).

Because you must. That’s reason enough for me. I don’t have a style or voice that many know and my work isn’t breaking any records. There are times I want to throw up my hands and say, “Enough! I quit!” And the world sighs with relief, and I sigh feeling in control of my future. I stand up from my desk determined never to return. Then a little voice says… “There was this woman who discovered she was married to the wrong man…”

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Why I had to count envelopes for six hours a day, I don’t know (I blocked out most of the experience, I do remember however that the temp agency who gave me the assignment thought it was a perfect introduction to the work world for a recent college graduate &ndash which was cruel as well as delusional); however, I did learn how to cope while I was there and the other day jobs I’ve had. This is how:

1) I threw away the statement: “I’ll be happy when…” Sure I would have been happier if my coworker had stopped adding her pile to mine or I had left that place (screaming in terror) after only an hour of torture. But I needed the money so I fought to be happy about it. I made sure to put the money I earned to good use. Not only was I saving a large chunk for a rainy day and my eventual freedom, but I also traveled to places, bought books I needed (How to Work with People You Can’t Stand was especially helpful) and attended writing workshops. Working with a purpose makes life easier. When you just work to survive, life can be very painful.

2) I didn’t label myself. I once worked in the complaint department of a hospital (a place to which I affectionately refer to as Hell on Earth). When people asked me what I did, I didn’t say I was a lowly clerk working towards a Master’s in Masochism. I said I was a temp. Even when I had a permanent job, I said I was a temp because I knew any situation I was in was only temporary. I was a free agent, nobody owned me. We are all free agents. Bosses can fire us, but we too can walk out the door. I never let myself feel like a prisoner.

3) I stayed away from the gossip mill. It’s fun really. I love stories and gossips tell the best (of course I was also aware that they were talking about me, but oh well) unfortunately, they are a waste of energy. Gossiping about the crappy boss, social climbers, backstabbers and butt kissers is good time poorly spent. Yes, offices have a great cast of characters to talk about, but spending your lunch break complaining all day is not good for the spirit. Take a walk, listen to music, you’re at your present job only temporarily and complaining about being there won’t make you feel any better about yourself or your situation. Remember you’re a temp – your future looks bright. Most of the gossips and complainers will still be there years later, older and more miserable. I know. I’ve gone back. It’s rather sad really.

4) Do your best. I hated counting envelopes. At times I would well up with tears at the thought of facing another day (I did that with most of my day jobs to be truthful); however I was one of the fastest counters there. I made it into a game and set challenges for myself. When you do a good job you are doing yourself a service and things will be pleasant. Work to please yourself. I’ve worked in customer service and I know people can be bleeding obnoxious; however, if you don’t like people, please don’t work in this department. (Yes, I’m speaking to everyone at fast food restaurants, retailers and health care providers. Learn how to smile!)

5) Come up with an escape plan. I don’t believe in endless suffering. If you have an abusive boss or your job is giving your headaches and ulcers, Leave It. I don’t care what kind of money you’re making. Ask for a demotion or start looking in the Want Ads. No job is worth your health. I walked off one job that was completely demoralizing.

6) Live your secret life NOW. At any job I was on I pretended I was an author who was there doing research for my next book. It helped to make the atmosphere more interesting. The woman who ate my lunch (damn those blasted office fridges) and pretended not to know it became a character I poisoned; a boss that liked to make fun of my name became a hobo with a severe speech impediment. I imagined how I would write my autobiography, I would practice my answers for when I was interviewed on TV. My imaginary life made my reality much more exciting. Try it; you’ll be surprised where your imagination can take you.

Sometimes we have to do things we don’t like, but they don’t have to be an agony. I had many jobs that I couldn’t stand, but I knew they were only temporary. Remember: This too shall pass, and your future looks bright.

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There are a number of tried and true ways you can enter this market, there are also a few “back door” methods that might work equally as good. The first thing you’ll need to do however is get to know your competition. For this I recommend that you get a copy of The Editor & Publisher Annual Directory of Syndication. Sometimes you can get this in bookstores but I’d recommend just ordering it online at .editorandpublisher.com. Explore this book carefully and you’ll find that syndicated columns are listed by both the syndicated service that offers them as well as their topic. This will give you a good starting point in your research and since most newspapers now have on-line archives, you’ll be able to explore past articles and see how these topics differ from your own.

Once you’ve explored this, define for yourself how your topic/angle is different from the ones you found during your research. Then once you’ve defined this, you can start targeting papers or syndication services with your query letter and sample articles. This is the traditional way of entering this market. For most it can be long and tedious and you might find that without prior “clippings” to offer them, the process takes even longer. In that vein, I’d recommend that you try offering your column locally first or to one paper at a time but not in a “syndication deal” but as a filler; newspapers will be a lot quicker to take filler items than to explore syndication options with you. By offering them consistent filler content (and saving those valuable clippings) you’ll start to grow your level of experience, you’ll build a reputation with the editor or editorial staff and you’ll begin to get a sense of what does and doesn’t work with printed media. An associate of mine did this, not with a local paper but with a paper she’d been offering her articles to, and after about two years of consistent submission she may be in line to fill the shoes of their in-house syndicated columnist who is retiring.

Once you have built some exposure for yourself and gathered clippings of your work, then it’s time to start pitching your topic to syndicated services (some of them are listed below) or regional newspapers. For this you’ll need a great query letter establishing your credentials and explaining why your idea is different from the others they might be considering, you’ll need some sample articles (other than your clippings) and perhaps some letters of reference from some papers you’ve worked for. Submit this packet to newspapers or syndicated services that might be appropriate to your topic and then keep good records and do your follow-up just like you would if you were pitching the media on anything else. The same rules apply really, pitch and follow-up and stay on their radar screen.

So, at the end of the day when you find yourself successfully syndicated will you get paid for all your hard work &ndash absolutely! What you’ll get paid varies depending on how many papers feature you and whether you are working through a syndication service. Syndication services are great but they will typically take 40 to 50 percent of your sales. If you self-syndicate you get all the proceeds. While it’s great to do this, keep in mind that you’ll need to have good tracking systems in place once your column takes off.

As an already published author, syndication can be another great way to promote you and your book. Your book will lend you the credibility you need to get that column and from this ongoing printed exposure some lucrative publishing deals could follow suit. Syndication may not be an easy road but if tackled correctly, can be a great way to boost your promotion, expand your platform and get the kind of exposure you only ever dreamed of!

Major syndicates &ndash check online for their submission guidelines

Copley News Service

.copleynews.com

King Features

.kingfeatures.com

Universal Press Syndicate

.amuniversal.com/ups/index.htm

BONUS TIP: If you’re trying to follow the comings and goings of syndicated writers, Editor and Publisher (.editorandpublisher) is a great resource for that. Check out the “Departments” tab on their web site for the latest news on columns that might be coming available!

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To accomplish this bird-eye view you’ll want to get yourself a big white board, or something else big enough to chart your flight plan on. Then, once you’ve gotten that start charting the course you’ve taken so far. Don’t leave a single thing out; it doesn’t matter what it is. What you want to end up with is a serious list of everything you’ve done from the time you held your first proof book in your hands.

One of the things this type of a project will do is give you a new perspective on what you’re doing. It will show you areas that you’ve possibly been spending too much time on or potential holes in your campaign. Sketching out your marketing campaign will also give you a chance to see what’s been leveraging you results and what hasn’t. Keep in mind that some things like bulk sales and national media might take longer than other items so you’ll want to keep putting forth effort toward those long-term goals. But let’s say you’ve been spending tons of time doing radio but nothing really seems to be happening in that area. You then look over to your speaking engagement section and realize you haven’t done a lot with that recently. Perhaps it’s time to pull back on radio and start pushing speaking events.

Once you’ve spent a good long time in this birds-eye view mode, start developing a to-do list of items or add to an existing list to help reinvigorate your campaign. One of the many things you’ll learn from doing this thirty-thousand foot perspective is that we often become myopic in our campaigns, focusing too hard in one area and not hard enough in another. Stepping back from your work will allow you the breathing room you need to regroup and reset your goals. Then you can focus in on particular areas or tasks that might need a boost.

It’s been said that a plane flying from Hawaii to Los Angeles is always off by three percent. If left to fly without any adjustments to the course, however slight, the plane would land up in Seattle instead (a difference of almost 1,200 miles!). But through corrections and readjustments the pilot eventually reaches his destination. As you pilot your own campaign, remember: don’t leave your marketing on autopilot. Realign, readjust, and refocus and eventually you too will reach your destination, wherever that might be.

Happy flying!

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1. Know your readers. We’re not just talking about whether your readers are male or female. You’ll want to know myriad factors about your audience. How old are your readers (age range)? Are readers married, single, or divorced? Where do your readers live (generally)? What do your readers do for a living? What other books/publications do they read? Develop a profile that includes where they shop, what clubs they belong to, etc.

These elements will help you incorporate these aspects into your book *and* help you unearth salient marketing opportunities (i.e., publications and stores).

2. Know your market. What’s the market like for your book? Is there a trend out there you’re positioning yourself toward? Are you reading all the publications related to this topic/trend? Are there any “holes” out there your book could fill? What’s the future for this market/topic? For example, let’s say you’re a fiction writer looking to publish chick lit. Go to any bookstore and you can’t help but spot the cutsie, pink, cartoonish covers. Many thought this trend was dying out, but it has recently seen another surge. What do you know about trends related to your book/topic/audience?

3. Similar books. What else has been published on your topic? Have you read all ten books in your category? If you haven’t, you should. You’ll want to know everything you can about what’s out there and how it’s being perceived in the marketplace. It’s never a problem having a similar topic. When I published No More Rejections – Get Published Today, I knew there were other books out there on marketing. I read them all–then angled my book differently.

4. Getting and staying current. What’s going on in your industry today? What are some hot buttons? What are people looking for? What’s next on the horizon for this topic/audience? If you can’t seem to gather this information through traditional channels, why not survey your target audience? There are a number of places to run free surveys, Survey Monkey is one of them: .surveymonkey.com

5. Follow the media. What’s the media talking about these days? Keep track of media buzz–what they’re paying attention to and what they’re writing about. Delve beyond the front page of your paper to the second or third page and see what’s filling the pages. If you can get your hands on out-of-state papers, do a comparative review. Do you see a trend in coverage? Is there something that seems to be getting more buzz even if it’s on page six?

6. Talk, teach, listen. One of the best ways I’ve found to get in touch with my audience was to teach a class and do speaking engagements. When I was putting together my book, Get Published Today, I found that the classes I taught provided valuable information for creating a great book because they put me directly in touch with my audience!

7. Timing is everything. When do you plan to release your tome? Are you releasing around a holiday or anniversary? Could you take advantage of any upcoming event and/or holiday for your book launch?

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I quickly learned to prefer sending queries by snail mail. Yes, it is slower, expensive, and more work, but my perception is that paper queries are taken more seriously and less likely to be ignored. They are also harder to destroy than merely pushing a delete key.

Where I struck out on my own relative to what I was reading on the Internet was the volume and velocity of my campaign. I sent out more than 500 queries, each a customized package, in three months. I scrupulously abided by all guidelines listed for each agency or publisher except one. I did not abide by the industry’s requirement of honoring exclusive reading policies of agencies who request it.

This is an unethical system that appears to have been deliberately rigged to unfairly favor publishers at the expense of writers. Although many publishers no longer ask for it, it is a disgraceful legacy that needs to be put out of its misery as soon as possible. Ignoring it in a massive way will do that. I do, however, think that, for now, writers should state clearly that they are making simultaneous queries.

Why such a massive, saturation bombing approach to querying? Well, life is short, and the more leads you put out, the greater the chance of a productive hit. I also needed it because I discovered that I was disadvantaged relative to many other authors. My novel, Coinage of Commitment, is a new kind of love story, one written of characters who love at a higher level than we see all around us. Plus it is fittingly written in a more emotionally vivid style than is currently fashionable.

Sales figures tell me this works well for readers, but it did not appeal to agencies who, I quickly discovered, are very conservative, extremely risk averse, and looking only for something they are used to or which has sold well in the past. Many have political or ideological agendas that bias their decision making. I never did come that close to landing an agent. Publishers were more sympathetic, more interested in literature for its own sake, but it was still a tough row to hoe.

The high volume approach to querying was decisive in my case because without it I would not have found the three royalty publishers who offered me contracts. Only after I had exhausted the list of addresses in print sources like Writer’s Market, and those on subscription sites like Firstwriter.com, did I go to open sites like Predators & Editors. There I discovered a new class of royalty publisher not listed in the other sources. These are small outfits with low overheads, who use POD print technology (which is becoming widespread), and who do not accept returns.

Otherwise their books are carried by the leading distributors. This is a group of publishers who have sprung up in the last five years. Many of these folks seem to be in it more for the love of books and literature than the profit motive. I found them much more willing to consider something new, like what I was offering, and this is where I hit gold with my own project.

There are other related issues: how to progress as a writer and improve your manuscript while also trying to sell it; how to deal with independent editors when you feel your manuscript is not good enough; and how to deal with the shadier side of our industry during a query campaign. But that is for a future article.

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I was offered the job; mostly because the actress in me conjured up Sigourney Weaver in Working Girl, a dash of Faye Dunaway in Network and I performed a nifty little improv using the shrewd and sassy elegance of Judy Holiday and Melanie Griffith as rather impressive role models. My stunning performance worked and there I was, embraced by my new corporate family and occasionally loaned back out to the rest of society, my pet Pomeranian and my old disco buddies.

After filling the pages of my gratitude journal for at least six months, and thanking the universe for this rather prestigious position, the honeymoon wore off and I became increasingly shell shocked. My co-workers were very strange indeed. I didn’t feel that they were family at all, but that’s what having a job is called on the Planet Corporate: family. Oh, they like putting us in teams too. Teams connote competition and a great rah, rah spirit. In my old world they called it “opening night.” Here they call it “making goal.” As you can imagine, I was confused.

I had a hard time understanding these people. They talked about a lot of things that didn’t really interest me. When they weren’t obsessing on how low the sales numbers were, they were obsessing on the New York Jets, what to nuke for lunch and whether or not the Bachelor would chose the blonde or the tenacious little redhead. I was beginning to feel quite miserable. Why, the first time I heard I had a direct report I thought I was going to be writing up a presentation on how I was going to direct the Christmas play. The first time I was called a subordinate, I almost wept aloud. Jeez, if I wanted to be subordinate to anyone I would have married my ex.

Then I was told I was getting a performance review. Well, finally something to look forward to. I was happy at last. Surely, my calculated persona as a prisoner in pin stripes was impressive. Why, I learned to click down the hallowed halls of this very famous corporation in three inch heels. I found the perfect skirt length and kept my nails conservatively French tipped. I even talked numbers all day, like they were as important as season tickets to the Met, and I pretended to be in a constant state of urgency so my boss would think I was absolutely killing myself to make my sales goal.

Well, you could have knocked me over in a breath when I discovered that a performance review was actually based on whether or not I was selling anything. Disappointingly, my review was moderate to cold. I felt that I wanted to crawl under a rock and not emerge until I figured out how I could learn to care how much money my company made off the ninety percent of my life it was taking. My self esteem had taken an affront. Here I thought my humanity was more important.

So be it. I licked my wounds and went on like a good soldier. These people were expanding my sales goal wider than a middle age waist line, but still, I persisted. I plodded along, cursing my fate and trying to figure out if I’d enjoy driving a cab for a living.

Finally, some good news from the Planet of the Corporate: We were all going on a retreat. I joyously ran out to buy a yoga mat, karma sutra oil to share with colleagues, hot pink sweatpants and new Addidas. I couldn’t want to chant with my corporate family. I was ecstatic.

But then, the bomb fell. I was both surprised and appalled. My corporate family was thrusting me into a hotel room with another adult, asking me to share the spit and spittle of sleep, the intimacy of bodily woes and the loss of privacy on my frequent calls home to the dog walker. That did it. I rebelled. I wore the new Addidas and the hot pink sweats to their all day meetings on how to sell more stuff. I chanted enthusiastically during the power lunch and used some little book on cheese they gave me as a place mat for the very gooey award night dinner.

Wouldn’t you know it, I was written up. At first I thought I’d earned some good review on the little monologue I gave to the company president on corporate greed. Not so, I was put on probation and sent home to watch Oprah, the Secret and meditate on changing my life as I sat by the Hudson with my Pomeranian re-reading What Color Is Your Parachute.

After two weeks, I was back on the planet Corporate wondering how I’d get through it. I couldn’t quit, it was already going to take me two years to get out of the debt I’d accumulated relying on an income doing extra film work and occasional voice overs for pharmaceutical drug companies. I needed the damn job. But something had shifted for me during my little reprisal from the bull pen of consumption. Maybe it was Oprah, maybe the law of attraction really works. I sure was intending to alter my present state. And it happened just like that. I put all my efforts into seeing myself as a happy little puppy and lo and behold, I started writing a novel.

Once I began, the words just flowed. I wrote and I wrote till my little fingers twitched. My life was altered forever by that simple action. I now started to wake at five am with a passion I hadn’t felt in years. I threw myself at the keyboard for an hour or more. I filled my weekends weaving a story, creating characters that I couldn’t get enough of. My joy was abundant.

Wouldn’t you know it? The bull pen became tolerable. Even the ice queen melted a bit and the complicated hidden agendas of coworkers became insignificant. My head was filled with plot and character. Who cares who wants my head on a corporate silver platter? What cared I for corporate agendas when my chapters flowed off the page? I thought about nothing else. My sales numbers even increased, as did my tolerance for the ice queens and bully boys on the Planet Corporate. How strange it all was.

Now I have a book, actually several books. You see, I stole back my time. I found a place that I wanted to be. You might say I took back my soul to write. I would advise anyone out there who has found themselves on an alien planet, to follow their passion as well, even if it doesn’t get you back on the planet Earth right away, I can assure you that eventually, it will, one way or the other. You see, your freedom will come out of the creation and your joy is in action, not the inaction of just feeling miserable. Writing is a place no one can enter or soil with demands you may never reach and definitions that limit you. So find your book and write it. If you don’t, your Corporate family will become the title of your life, and the spirit who longs to fly free will loose touch with the words that might have been, and the key to the door not taken.

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